Potty Training – Is it ok to admit defeat?

My daughter has always taken whatever we have thrown at her and adapted to new situations extremely well, whether it be going to nursery or changing to a toddler bed she has always adapted really well. So when it came to potty training we naively thought this would be the same and so we took to potty training with the approach of going from nappies to bare bum. I could not have been more wrong.

A few weeks ago we decided that we thought she was ready and decided to go ahead. Most of the signs were there, or were they. Now that I come to think about it I’m not so sure they were. Yes she was getting irritated in her nappies and she would sometimes sit on the potty but she wouldn’t do anything. She would stay dry for some time, she can hold her wee and sometimes tell us when she had done a poo. Notice how I am saying sometimes. Yep, we misjudged the signs.

Potty training started brilliantly for us in the first 3 days ( you can see my vlog about it here https://youtu.be/dTRw9-mycwE). It was the bank holiday weekend and we had cleared our schedule. We didn't have many accidents in the first 3 days and Quinn had lots of enthusiasm in using the toilet. She wasn’t interested in the potty at all and I was over the moon that overall it was going so well. She had star stickers and treats for doing well. Then when I went back to work and tried to put knickers on her things regressed and as the week progressed her enthusiasm for the toilet regressed massively. She was seeing the knickers as her safety and would wee in them. My childminder (AKA my Mum) did everything we were doing, nothing was different. There have been so many accidents since and not much of anything in the potty / toilet and as the days go on she is just losing more interest and with it control of her bladder. She’s not even bothered when she is wet.

We took some advice from other mums who suggested that going commando might help and so we tried that on nursery day…..Fail fail fail.

The past few days of it getting even worse both my Husband and I have really sat and thought about what could have gone wrong. Did we do something wrong? It was me that wanted her to be potty trained by a certain time. Were we too intimidating with our over the top cheering? (my daughter gets a bit nervous with loud noises) or was the timing wrong or was she really truly ready?

It’s that fear as a parent isn’t it, that fear that YOU got it wrong. What will other people say about it? 

But I think its OK to admit defeat though. It's OK. It’s not about what’s convenient for us at the end of the day or about what other people say, it’s about what is right and works for our kids. My daughter is not 100% ready, I know that now. She is only 90% ready. She is still yet to be uncomfortable when she is wet or soiled and she is still yet to ask to be changed and ask to use the toilet.

For now we have taken a little step back and put her in training pants so she can learn the concept of being wet and dry and the difference between the two. We will still sit her on the potty/toilet at regular times and keep doing what we've been doing just with the added security blanket of using a pull up and we'll see how she does with that for now. Some might say I didn't try hard enough or long enough or some might say its a massive step back because that's what I said but do you know what, that's OK. She’ll tell me when she is ready, I know my daughter and we'll do it together, step by step.

Time, patience and knowing are all your friends especially where potty training is concerned xx